Heeeeey.....-runs from the hail of bullets..-

Yeah I'm back...finally. Jesus and was a couple of up and down months I've had. =-=

I'm happy to announce that I am now 99% complete in my chosen trade: CNA or Certified Nursing Assistant.
What do they do? Well they take care of the patient, as in they bathe them, feed them, help dress them, talk with them, take vital signs, that sort of thing.
What am I going to do with it? I want to be a Radiologist. Yup....that person who takes pictures of peoples bones and organs and stuff.


I'm getting so fed up with the JobCorps system. It's like they deliberately set up Gadsden to fail. There's no money, staff are secretive and gossipy with the wrong people, they allow sexual, verbal and yes sometimes even physical harrasment. I have seen and experienced so much harrasment to those who are considered "other" that meaning, Gays, Lesbians, and Bisexuals. It hurts to see that so many people will deny other people the simple right to express themselves in their own brilliant way. I, myself am an other. And daily I'm harrassed by many people about my life choices. Such closed minded and idiotic people.
A mojority of these kids are thugs and "gangsters", they have no class and little to no basic hometraining. They talk over each other, they refuse to listen to those in authority, they brawl constantly and are just plain rude. You have to be the first person in line for lunch otherwise, while you may be fourth in line, a group of thirty will come and cut in front. Such simple basic rules of life, be kind to others, respect your elders and peers, and they act like heathens. Everyone's going to get the same crappy food, the same crappy drinks, and be able to eat in the same crappy cafeteria. You don't need to rush ahead to try and get there first. We may be poor, but I garuntee there will be enough food for everyone. =-=
Just the other week I was stupid enough to accidentally get in the way of a Gang Fight. I ended up with a black eye and a bruised jaw. And all I was doing was standing in line for dinner....
I lie to pretty much everyone everyday about how my day went. Hah...it feels strange to allow myself to admit that. Everyday is complete and utter bullshit. Staff lie to you about meetings you have to attend, or arrive late, or if they are on time they bring pizza or fast food and eat it loudly while talking to you. Teasing you with it. (That sounds like a fat kid complaining...XD ).

Even my roommates have finally done the impossible and pissed me off royally. It gets really really hot at night here because they BLAST the heat at like 85 degrees....no joke. And I and some of my Northerner friends are dying because it gets way too fucking hot in our rooms. About a month ago, I opened the window during the night to get some air. I did this for about a week. My room mates were fine with it, until two of them came down with (1) Pneumonia and the other (2) a flu like virus. They blamed it on the window and have now "banned" me from opening it from now on. Case (1) claims to be anemic...(Is it possible to be anemic if you're fat?) and they both have blamed me because I opened the window. I tried my GODDAMNEDHARDEST to fucking tell them, you CANNOT get Pneumonia and a "Flu" from a cold draft while in a hot room. They then proceeded to spout some bullshit about how hot and cold air makes you sick. I'm sorry, that is NOT how this FUCKING WORKS! Pneumonia is caused by BACTERIA or LIQUID/FLUIDS in the LUNGS, you CANNOT get it by being "cold" and "hot". I then rounded on the other and told HER that a VIRUS IS NOT CAUGHT BECAUSE OF COLD AIR. They then laughed and told me I was stupid. That I didn't understand how you caught either. I'm sorry, who the hell's in CNA? WHO THE FUCK IS GOING INTO HEALTHCARE?
No offense to those of you who are Southerners but I swear to God you have the STUPIDEST superstitions or ideas about things...: (I do realize that not all of you hold with these however yes I am making a generalization, shoot me. And yes I do realize that both Germany and Europe have superstions that I believe in and yes I do realize that you may think they are stupid however. I digress. Superstitions are a cultural thing...doesn't make them right, but still.)
1. Belief: A hot room with a cold draft will get you sick. (Alternately a cold room with a hot draft will not either.)
Busted - I have had several DOCTORS and REGISTERED NURSES confirm that you CANNOT get  sick like that. A virus and or germ has to be present to make one ill.
2. Superstition: Sweeping the feet will cause a death.
I can't prove this busted but I can prove this ridiculous. I mean really? Wow....
3. Superstition: Sweeping UNDER the feet will mean you will never get married.
Well fuck...half my classmates are doomed...I did this the other day.. It pissed quite a few of them off. -shrugs-)
4. Dropping an umbrella on the floor means that there will be a murder in the house

I wonder why my WHOLE family isn't dead yet then. =-= I drop everything.
5. If the groom drops the wedding band during the ceremony, the marriage is doomed

Wheeelp...I guess my real parents marrige is doomed then. -shrugs-

6. It is bad luck to light three cigarettes with the same match.

This one I actually understand. And I quite agree with. Haah yeah surprising yeah? It's from the World Wars. It was thought that an Enemy Sniper would sight the match flaring and from there it's
1st Cigarette: He looks throught his sight.
2nd Cigarette: He slips off saftey.
3rd Cigarette: He locks on target and pulls the trigger.
Yup. This one's still used pretty much everywhere. And I'll leave it alone. See I'm not horrible mean.

Another thing....you either have "good" room mates...or "bad" ones. I happen to have what I now know to be bad roomates. I slipped in the shower last night and hit my head on the faucet. I sat there for however long, trying to stay concious and to clear the blurring of my eyes. My room mates were kind enough to knock on the door, ask if I was alright and then walk off without listening to a reply and start blasting music. A short while later they got the RA...and she came and knocked on the door. The reason? Not because they were worried about me, but rather they were "tired" of waiting for me to get out of the shower. If I had been bleeding...I probably would have died, because they didn't want to take the time to make sure I was okay. The door was unlocked, and the lack of response on my part should have alerted them to my distress.

I dropped my ipod in a bucket of water last night....on a very horrible accident....The reasons I'm so tore up about my Ipod...is one: it has EVERYTHING on it. Pictures, my movies, music...my memories...and the second reason I'm so devastated is: That was my back up plan. That for whatever reason if Job Corps didn't work out or I needed to run....I could have pawned it. It was my safety net...


I'm so emotionally drained all the time now, I'm so tired of fighting to get something I need, and not being able to get what I want. I put others before me and get my ass run over for it. The only ones who seem to care about me anymore is my closest friends..but I feel like I take advantage of their kindness. I need someone to rant to and I know they have lives and can't just sit there and listen to me whine about my problems...

I sound like an emo kid half the time these days...."I'm so tired, I don't want to do this anymore" "Lifes' too hard" "I just wish it would all go away..." I'm such a bitch half the time ....I get into fights more and more often and it drives me nuts because I'm not usually like this......I get so angry all the time now...I'm irritable and cranky and I'm ready to swing...

Hase hasn't left me alone in about two weeks...I think he's trying to get me to understand something but I can't get what ever he's showing me...the nuances of the scene..it escapes me....it's something imporant but it's just not reading right. Hell week...it's lasted longer this time.....I hear bells, screaming, explosions...it's making me tense as fuck...
He's not to impressed with me...and he adds to my over all crankiness as well....=-=


I can't write anymore..I feel like I'm going in circles and I'm just sick of it...I want to sleep....


S.A.R.B.

_{Modified by: =AmaranthBlacktree}